KiCK’N Relationship Tips
With Lori and Bob Hollander
Secrets to Creating Extraordinary Relationships
Emotional connection is deepest when partners express their genuine anger, fear, pain and love.
Engage Fear, Anger, and Love to Create Emotional Intimacy
Did you ever know a couple who never argued or disagreed, who were the envy of other couples in your circle of friends, who appeared to be the perfect pair (so you thought)? Then, the next thing you knew, they were getting divorced.
You might be surprised by this but we’re not. Often people think the most stable relationships are the ones that appear the most peaceful, most agreeable, the least cantankerous, which is not necessarily the truth.
The deepest emotional connections of love and intimacy are the ones where each partner is genuine and authentic and expresses the most difficult feelings at the most difficult times; where you choose not to hide; where you are willing to engage each other in the real feelings; where you express your anger, your fear, your pain and your love to your partner.
Being emotionally intimate is no small endeavor. It can truly be scary. Becoming deeply connected means you choose to be vulnerable; you choose to deal with your feelings of pain and hurt; you have the awareness that you may lose your partner, if not through separation, through death. Strange paradox, it is.
Some partners unconsciously use anger and fear to keep their relationship from getting too deep, too close. It’s risky to put your heart out there knowing at some point you will feel hurt, you will get angry, you will feel rejected. The beauty is you will also experience the deepest, most fulfilling, most intimate emotional connection possible.